It's been so long since I posted I think I've forgotten what it feels like. There are a lot of things I'm having a hard time with lately. My schedule has gotten so crammed that I haven't had time (that's a cop out...I haven't made time) to be in the Word like I need to be. I'm suffering for it too. The sinful nature is rearing its head more often and I don't know...it's almost like a nightmare resurfacing. I had about as much of it as I could take and decided tonight that no matter how late it was, I was going to get out my Bible, read, and write. I've been listening to a John Piper sermon every night when I go to sleep but there's something that's just not the same. It's a bad feeling when you starve yourself from God. You don't realize you do it until you wonder why you're so miserable and then start ticking things off that you have been doing different, hoping that something will explain your problems. I got to the point where I finally realized I needed to have a set apart time and stick to it to get in the Word. I'm not good at managing time. Anyway, I'm going to start writing now and as per usual I'll probably go on a few tangents There are a lot of pent up things that need to spill out onto the page, I think.
First off, just because I've been a slacker doesn't mean God hasn't been taking care of me. It's just like 2 Timothy 2:13 says: "If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot disown Himself." I'm so thankful I have a Dad like that. I'm used to the idea down here on earth that everything is based on merit. I mean, if you look around the world, that's the way everything works, especially in college. It starts from the moment you fill out your application. If you're good enough, you get in. If you're good enough, they help you pay for it. Sports? Ok. If you're good enough, you get a spot on the team, and if you're better even that THAT, you might just get to play. With Dad, it's not like that. None of us are good enough, but He takes us anyway. I love the way Bro. Jason puts it: if you didn't get your salvation by works, what gives you the idea that you can lose it by works? God doesn't disown us (YAY OR I WOULD HAVE BEEN DISOWNED) when we do something stupid and decide we can handle it on our own, or even worse, decide that our will has GOT to be the same as His will because we are just absolutely sure that what we're doing is good for us. Heh. Not always the case. There have been so many times these past few weeks where Dad stepped in and took care of me when I would have been seriously messed up if he hadn't. It's in the little things that I see Him work- things like a bus being off schedule and getting to my stop early when I was going to be late to class (even though while I was praying for one a person next to me asked me if I honestly thought God controlled the bus system). It's things like His classic sense of humor. Take for example this story:
There was a sorority girl walking down the stairs toward the bus stop I was waiting at. She appeared to be the type of girl that has to look PERFECT everywhere she goes, whether it's just down the hall or to a sorority chapter meeting. At the moment she reached the bottom of the stairs, BAM- faceplant, right on the ground. She popped up like the was spring loaded, brushed her hair back, and acted like nobody had seen it. Unfortunately for her, me and two other guys had seen it and were laughing raucously. We turned around so she wouldn't see it and get embarrassed; it wasn't our intention to embarrass her, we just laughed at what we happened to see. We all got on the bus, including her, which prompted continuing laughter. This went on until I got to my bus stop. When I was going down the steps of the bus, still laughing, BAM- faceplant, right on the ground. The first thought that passed through my head was, "Ok, Dad. I get it," and I knew. I knew He was behind it. And I knew He was probably laughing at me as hard as I was.
A prayer need has come up. I need to stop this post now and pray for a while. Abrupt ending, but that's the way He works. Catch y'all later.
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